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Murphy's Laws of Combat
Murphy’s Combat Laws are very funny, a fresh take on the very old Murphy’s Laws states…. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 01 A “sucking chest wound” is nature’s way of telling you to slow down. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 02 A clean (and dry) set of BDU’s is a magnet for mud and rain. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 03 A grenade with a seven second fuse will always burn down in four seconds. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 04 A Purple Heart just goes to prove that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 05 Air Strikes always overshoot the target, artillery always falls short. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 06 Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 07 As soon as you are served hot chow in the field, it rains. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 08 Don’t look conspicuous, it draws fire. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 09 Exceptions prove the rule, and destroy the battle plan. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 10 Field experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 11 For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism in boot camp. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 12 Friendly fire isn’t. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 13 If at first you don’t succeed, call in an air-strike. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 14 If only one solution can be found for a field problem, then it is usually a stupid solution. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 15 If the enemy is in range, so are you. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 16 If the platoon Sergeant can see you, so can the enemy. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 17 If you can’t remember, then the claymore is pointed at you. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 18 If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 19 If you’re short of everything but the enemy, you’re in a combat zone. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 20 Incoming fire has the right of way. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 21 Interchangeable parts aren’t. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 22 Make it tough enough for the enemy to get in and you won’t be able to get out. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 23 Murphy was a grunt. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 24 Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 25 Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 26 Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 27 Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, never stay awake when you can sleep. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 28 Never tell the platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 29 No matter which way you have to march, its always uphill. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 30 One enemy soldier is never enough, but two is entirely too many. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 31 Professionals are predictable, it’s the amateurs that are dangerous. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 32 Remember, a retreating enemy is probably just regrouping for a counter-attack. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 33 Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the General is watching. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 34 Teamwork is essential, it gives them someone else to shoot at. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 35 The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of the weapon’s operator. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 36 The easy way is always mined. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 37 The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 38 The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: a. when you’re ready for them.b. when you’re not ready for them. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 39 The enemy never monitors your radio frequency until you broadcast on an insecure channel. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 40 The enemy never watches until you make a mistake. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 41 The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it away to be repaired. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 42 The most dangerous thing in the world is a Second Lieutenant with a map and a compass. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 43 The newest and least experienced soldier will usually win the Congressional Medal Of Honor. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 44 The one item you need is always in short supply. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 45 The perfect officer for the job will transfer in the day after that billet is filled by someone else. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 46 The seriousness of a wound received in a fire-fight is inversely proportional to the distance to any form of cover. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 47 The tough part about being an officer is that the troops don’t know what they want, but they know for certain what they DON’T want. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 48 The weapon that usually jams when you need it the most is the M60. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 49 The worse the weather, the more you are required to be out in it. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 50 There is always a way. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 51 There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 52 There is no such thing as military ‘intelligence’. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 53 Those who hesitate under fire usually do not end up KIA or WIA. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 54 To steal information from a person is called plagiarism. To steal information from the enemy is called gathering intelligence. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 55 Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 56 Walking point = sniper bait. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 57 When reviewing the radio frequencies that you just wrote down, the most important ones are always illegible. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 58 When you have secured an area, don’t forget to tell the enemy. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 59 When you have sufficient supplies and ammo, the enemy takes 2 weeks to attack. When you are low on supplies and ammo, the enemy decides to attack that night. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 60 Whenever you drop your equipment in a fire-fight, your ammo and grenades always fall the farthest away, and your canteen always lands at your feet. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 61 Whenever you have plenty of ammo, you never miss. Whenever you are low on ammo, you can’t hit the broad side of a barn. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 62 Your bivouac for the night is the spot where got tired of marching that day. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 63 Air defense motto: shoot ‘em down; sort ‘em out on the ground. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 64 You’ll only remember your hand grenades when the sound is too close to use them. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 65 B-52s are the ultimate close support weapon. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 66 Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 67 Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 68 Don’t look conspicuous; it draws fire. For this reason, it is not at all uncommon for aircraft carriers to be known as bomb magnets. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 69 Five second fuses always burn three seconds. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 70 ‘Flies high, it dies; low and slow, it’ll go. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 71 Fortify your front; you’ll get your rear shot up. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 72 How come you are on one frequency when everyone else is on another? Murphy’s Laws of Combat 73 If it’s stupid but it works, it isn’t stupid. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 74 If two things are required to make something work, they will never be shipped together. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 75 If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 76 If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 77 If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you may have misjudged the situation. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 78 If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 79 If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will get more than your fair share of objectives to take. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 80 It’s not the one with your name on it; it’s the one addressed “to whom it may concern” you’ve got to think about. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 81 Know why short RTOs have long whips on their radios? So someone can find them when they step in deep water. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 82 Military Intelligence is a contradiction. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 83 Mines are equal opportunity weapons. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 84 Napalm is an area support weapon. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 85 Never go to bed with anyone crazier than yourself. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 86 No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 87 No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 88 No PLAN ever survives initial contact. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 89 Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 90 Radar tends to fail at night and in bad weather, and especially during both. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 91 Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 92 Recoil-less rifles – aren’t. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 93 Sniper’s motto: reach out and touch someone. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 94 So he said, “Cheer up: it could be worse!” So we cheered up. And it got worse. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 95 Suppressive fires – won’t. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 96 The ammo you need “NOW”!! is on the “Next” airdrop!! Murphy’s Laws of Combat 97 The Cavalry doesn’t always come to the rescue. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 98 The enemy “Always” times his attack, to the second you drop your pants in the Latrine!! Murphy’s Laws of Combat 99 The important things are always simple; the simple are always hard. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 100 The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 101 The ping you heard was the antenna snapping off at 6 inches above the flex mount, while a fire mission was being called in on a battalion of hostiles who know your position. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 102 The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 103 The side with the simplest uniforms wins. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 104 The spare batteries for the PRC-whatever your troops have been carrying are either nearly dead or for the wrong radio. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 105 There is no such thing as a perfect plan. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 106 There is nothing more satisfying than having someone take a shot at you, and miss. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 107 Things that must work together, can’t be carried to the field that way. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 108 Things which must be shipped together as a set, aren’t. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 109 Tracers work both ways. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 110 Weather ain’t neutral. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 111 Well .. It could be worse: It could be raining .. and we could be out in it. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 112 When both sides are convinced they’re about to lose, they’re both right. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 113 When in doubt, empty your magazine. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 114 When you have secured the area, make sure the enemy knows it too. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 115 Whenever you lose contact with the enemy, look behind you. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 116 Why does your 500-watt VRC-26 (real old) not make it across 200 miles while a ham with 50 watts on the same MARS frequency can be heard from Stateside? Murphy’s Laws of Combat 117 Why is it the CO sticks his head in your radio hooch to see if anything has come down from DIV when you are listening to the VOA broadcasting the baseball games? Murphy’s Laws of Combat 118 You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note. Category:Government Humor Category:Language Humor